Archive for April, 2010

Know Thyself

Apr. 29th 2010

These two words are a famous Greek aphorism accredited to many different philosophers. All are agreed that they appeared over the entrance of the great Oracle at Delphi.

Oscar Wilde once quipped that “to fall in love with oneself is the beginning of a lifelong love affair.” On some level, this sounds selfish, but it’s really not.  If we don’t know ourselves, how can we know what we bring to others?

Furthermore, how can we know how or if we want to change anything about ourselves if we don’t examine our lives? Socrates swore that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” I agree.

Who are you? Who am I? Why am I here? What is my cosmic purpose? What difference can I/could I make to the world? These are all valuable and worthwhile questions to ask ourselves.

Many years ago, I figured out that asking the right questions is an art. Further, that having the right questions sometimes means we don’t even need the answers. Asking includes answers in my reality, but without asking, what need is there for answers?

Knowing ourselves is a necessary pursuit. Ultimately, it lets us each know what we value, and what we value is the basis upon which all choices are made. Spend some time with yourself as often as you can.

For spiritual nourishment, visit Dr. Susan Corso’s website and blog, Seeds for Sanctuary. Follow her on Twitter @PeaceCorso and Friend her on Facebook. And discover your own Inner Peace at, To Me Peace Is … What is Peace to You?

Posted by Susan Corso, DD | in Practitioner Blogs, Spiritual Alignment | No Comments »

“Chronological Age vs. Biological Age”

Apr. 27th 2010

In February, Patti Neighmond produced a story for National Public Radio entitled “Why We Gain Weight as We Age”. The content of Ms. Neighmond’s article is sound and she makes some excellent points, but in my opinion, the title is misleading because we are not necessarily predestined for significant fitness loss and weight gain as we age. In fact, we have much more control over our outcomes than we might realize.

Ms. Neighmond explains some of the physiological reasons why we tend to lose muscle mass and gain fatty tissue as we age. However, we can mitigate the extent to which these changes occur. Research suggests that fitness loss has less to do with the aging process itself and more to do with the lifestyle choices we make as we get older.

Consider the following transitions that many of us make as we progress through our life cycles.

· We move to the suburbs and start driving instead of walking to get around.

· We have longer commutes, work longer hours, and have families to care for, and we do not make the time for exercise.

· We stop playing the sports that we enjoyed as children and young adults.

· When we do exercise, we opt for low-intensity, relaxing activities as opposed to more intense exercises that expend more calories and build muscle mass.

· We get injured or develop medical problems and never make it back to our pre-injury fitness level.

· We see ourselves losing fitness, and as a consequence, we also lose inspiration to take care of ourselves, and so other unhealthy lifestyle habits arise.

At my first job out of college, many of my colleagues on the cusp of retirement appeared frail, had difficulty getting up from their chairs, and shuffled about the hallways. Because they represented the only model that I had of people in that age group, I assumed we were all destined for this outcome. After leaving that position, however, I moved to a community in western Massachusetts with a large retirement population and discovered just how wrong I was. During my time there, I met many older people who were still very active and healthy because they had chosen to take care of themselves. For example, I played tennis with an 84-year-old World War II veteran who had certainly lost some mobility over the decades but could still hold his own in a game of doubles. I developed a whole new mindset regarding what life can be like in its latter stages.

While we cannot do anything about our chronological age and certain physiological changes will happen regardless of what we do, we have more control over our biological age and our outcomes than we might realize. We can exercise the control that we do have by choosing to stay active or become active no matter what age we are now, eat well, effectively manage our stress, sleep sufficiently, and practice proactive and preventive health management.

Posted by Jonah Soolman, RD, LDN, CPT | in FirstLine Therapy, Practitioner Blogs | 2 Comments »

There Is Always Enough Time

Apr. 25th 2010

Here’s a part of the email I received asking for this article …. The theme is being and staying active. Maybe something on keeping our brains/spirituality active, that, like our bodies, requires thoughtful maintenance? So, of course, I said an instant yes, basically because of a client who I just saw at Visions.

He, like so many of us, spent a lot of time telling me that he doesn’t have time to do spiritual work. He works fulltime. He’s got a wife and a daughter, friends, three ongoing lawsuits, the usual goings-on of a busy life.

I listened and then countered with, “How can you not do spiritual work with all that going on?!”

There are two major kinds of time in life, excepting scientific kinds of time of which I know nothing. They are kairos, or holy time; and chronos, or clock time. Chronos runs our lives. It’s what allows us to be on time, in time, timely. Soccer practice is five days a week at 4. Drum lessons are on Tuesdays at 5. Karate is on Saturday mornings. Despite the fact that it is strictly human construct—real time isn’t linear—we need chronos in order to make and fulfill our agreements.

Co-existent with chronos is kairos—holy time, eternal time, the present moment, only the present moment. Now. It does well for each of us if we make a commitment to touching into holy time over and over again during each daily round of activity.

Holy time is about Being. Clock time is about doing.

We were fashioned as human beings, not human doings. Spiritual practice is the easiest way I know to stay in touch with eternal time. Consider it checking in with Heaven whilst on Earth. Or, being in the world but not of it. In the beginning of a practice, everything is new and can feel effortful. No worries—it will get easier with time.

Truly, the busier you are, the more prayertime you need. Have you ever thought of your life that way? That the more you do, the more guidance you need? The more people you know, the more blessing you need to be doing? The more you hurry, the more you need the slowing of everyday time into holy time?

To start, you’ll need to set up triggers. These are earthly actions that cause you to pause and do spiritual practice. For instance, every time you put your key in the ignition of your car, before you turn the car on, stop. Breathe out—that’s right out, not in. A conscious breath out will cause a deeper in-breath. Then say a prayer. It needn’t be complicated. Try: Peace. Or: Love. Or: Thank you, God. Any word can be a prayer if that’s your intention. Then start the car.

One practice I tend to suggest to parents of young children is a little graphic, but it works. When new parents who are so exhausted they can’t think straight a lot of the time tell me they can’t meditate, that they’re too tired, I always ask if they ever use the bathroom. It startles most of them and, of course, they answer that they do. “Use those few moments of alone time to check in,” I say. “Ask for something you need or want.” Strength, revitalization, peace, joy. The ability to stay present in the moment with your new little angel. Everything in life is worth a prayer.

How long will it take? Seconds. How long will it last? Hours. Learn to use your everyday actions as triggers for spiritual practice. Your brain will stay active, your spirituality will thrive, your day will be easier, and eventually, we’ll create peace on earth.

As a well-known watch company used to say for their slogan: There’s no time like the present, and no present like the time. Giving yourself the gift of heavenly time during everyday time is healing and you’re worth it.

Posted by Susan Corso, DD | in Practitioner Blogs, Spiritual Alignment | No Comments »

$aver$ & $pender$

Apr. 25th 2010

This is the seminal disagreement in most relationships and it can take some skillful maneuvering to navigate a serious divide on how to handle money. Let’s face it. Most of us are either savers or spenders and not both. A difference in financial styles can cause huge disagreements if we don’t take the time to explain ourselves.

My partner is a major saver; I’m a spender (although I prefer to think of it as circulator). It took us years to figure out how to set each other free in the financial realm.

First things first. Know your own style. Before you ever accuse your Beloved about his or her style, know your own. Cop to it.

Then ask your partner, during a time of relative calm, about his or her financial style. Talk it through.

The issue is not how your Beloved can turn into you or you into him or her. The issue is to become conscious of and examine the different ways in which you both learned to deal with money, and to find a middle road.

I’m going to tell a tale on myself. I’m half Jewish, and at the risk of sounding stereotypical, I never, well, almost never, pay retail for anything. I consider bargaining exhilarating. My sweetheart asks the price and pays it, whatever it is. The first time we were together and publicly spending money, my natural inclination to bargain embarrassed my Beloved. We learned a lot that day.

In fact, I think the wisest behavior one can bring to financial planning is curiosity. Be curious about your Beloved. Ask the same of him or her.

For spiritual nourishment, visit Dr. Susan Corso’s website and blog, Seeds for Sanctuary. Follow her on Twitter @PeaceCorso and Friend her on Facebook. And discover your own Inner Peace at, To Me Peace Is … What is Peace to You?

Posted by Susan Corso, DD | in Practitioner Blogs, Spiritual Alignment | No Comments »

Learn How to Fight

Apr. 15th 2010

Consider your own fighting style seriously. I mean it. What do you do when you’re mad? Sad? Feel bad? Are glad? We all have “default” behaviors. How do yours fit with those of your Beloved? It matters. Contrasting fighting styles make for much more painful fights.

Let’s look at the two most contrasting fighting styles. One has it that you must engage till it’s resolved. Push. Keep at it. Don’t give up. The second has a policy of walking away till things calm down. For a moment, try not to identify with either style. Instead, imagine how the two might come together.

Mr. Engage At All Costs will be following around Ms. Leave Me Alone until the end of time! This never works.

Fights, disagreements, arguments, or what my family called “discussions” happen in all sorts of relationships for all sorts of reasons. It is extremely valuable to know your initial impulse in confrontational situations.

For the most part, I’m a walk-away-till-it-calms-down fighter, and over the years I’ve learned that some fights are better and more quickly resolved by turning and facing the issue in the moment. In more than 50 years of living, I’ve learned to use both styles. How about you?

There are some good rules to follow during altercations with your Beloved. First, no shaming. This means: pick your moment. If you don’t like how your sweetie is treating you at a party, don’t pitch a fit there. Wait till you’re alone.

Second, begin your sentences with I, not you. Accusation is never a skillful strategy in human relating.

Third, ask for what you want. Bring a possible solution to your sweetheart’s attention. It may not be the one you implement, but it’s better to have a solution or a request than just a complaint.

Fourth, remember what you love about the person if you can. Actively remind yourself that you love this individual even if her or his behavior is leaving a certain amount to be desired at the moment.

Fifth, remember the wisdom of Solomon’s Ring: This too shall pass. Think of all the things that have upset you over the years, and remember how unimportant so many of them turned out to be.

Sixth, you can always agree to disagree. There’s nothing wrong with a difference of opinion. What’s wrong is getting stuck in the need to be right. I pick happy over right every time.

For spiritual nourishment, visit Dr. Susan Corso’s website and blog, Seeds for Sanctuary. Follow her on Twitter @PeaceCorso and Friend her on Facebook. And discover your own Inner Peace at, To Me Peace Is … What is Peace to You?

Posted by Susan Corso, DD | in Practitioner Blogs, Spiritual Alignment | No Comments »

Talk About Everything

Apr. 8th 2010

There is an expression in common parlance that some things “go without saying.” Au contraire, my friend. Over the years I’ve discovered that anything that I think should go without saying NEEDS to be said.

In fact, I think everything needs to be said. The wildest thing about human beings is that we think other people can read our minds. So bizarre, given that sometimes we can’t even read our own minds!

What’s important is the process of talking. Let’s use an example. Say you and your sweetie were out one night and ran into some friends. Your partner invites them to join you whilst you think you’re out having a romantic dinner for two. You allow it in the moment, but are secretly (or not so secretly) fuming.

What’s to do?

First, wait. Wait till you’ve cooled off. Wait till you can speak gently and sanely about what happened. Wait till you have some privacy with your Beloved. Don’t shame her or him by speaking out about this in front of others.

Second, make a conscious choice about when you speak about this. Over family dinner probably isn’t the best time. Nor is in front of your in-laws. Even if you have to make an appointment to speak in private, do that.

Third, pick your battles. If this is the umpty-umpth time this has happened, and you’ve reached your last straw, good. Now’s the time. If not, you can still speak up.

Fourth, tell your sweetie how you feel. Not what he or she did, but how you feel. Begin your sentences with “I,” and do not qualify them with “when you.”

Fifth, be prepared to agree to disagree. Most of the time when our partners are uncomfortable or when we are uncomfortable, all we need is a fair hearing. We need to hear, “I hear you, and I’m sorry if I contributed to that feeling.”

Sixth, consider the actions you want to put in place to change the scenario if you could. This is the lessons learned section. Rather than just plopping a big ball of problem in your spouse’s lap, state the problem as neutrally as you can, and offer a solution or two.

Remember that if you are unhappy in a situation, the person with whom you think you’re unhappy is a mirror to you. Find and heal your own unhappiness, and you’ll heal your relationship as well.

For spiritual nourishment, visit Dr. Susan Corso’s website and blog, Seeds for Sanctuary. Follow her on Twitter @PeaceCorso and Friend her on Facebook. And discover your own Inner Peace at, To Me Peace Is … What is Peace to You?

Posted by Susan Corso, DD | in Practitioner Blogs, Spiritual Alignment | No Comments »

Pray Together

Apr. 5th 2010

To live a life in relationship means to be in spiritual engagement whether we are consciously engaged spiritually or not. Two people who are drawn to one another are drawn for a variety of reasons. The most usual one is that their spirits and their souls form a pattern that we recognize as love.

This is not to say that the pattern is always a healthy one, but in order to work at making the pattern healthy, prayer is always a good idea. It doesn’t matter how you pray together; it matters that you pray together.

It’s best to pick a time of day and stick to it consistently. In a household with small children, the best time is probably after they’ve gone to bed. Otherwise pick what feels good to both of you. If you disagree about the time, alternate.

Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, teaches her associates that there are four priorities in life. They take a particular order and if, for any reason, they are out of order, then so is your life. They are:

God

Self

Family

Work

When you pray with a partner, try these four as an outline. Pray aloud or learn to pray aloud. Alternate topics, or let each one pray for each area. It need take no longer than five minutes.

Connecting in prayer is a good way to connect, and connection—conscious, consistent, compassion-ate—is what relating is all about. Be sure to end with gratitude.

For spiritual nourishment, visit Dr. Susan Corso’s website and blog, Seeds for Sanctuary. Follow her on Twitter @PeaceCorso and Friend her on Facebook. And discover your own Inner Peace at, To Me Peace Is … What is Peace to You?

Posted by Susan Corso, DD | in Practitioner Blogs, Spiritual Alignment | No Comments »

Do a Pre-Nup

Apr. 5th 2010

One of the hardest things I’ve ever done is negotiate a pre-nuptial agreement. It was also extraordinarily rewarding. The reason is because it meant we had to get conscious about a lot of unconscious matters.

Like, our ideas about money and how we would handle it in our relationship. Ideas about death and who wanted what when that passage arrived. Ideas about health and taking care of ourselves and one another. Ideas about insurance. Ideas about politics. Ideas about fighting and making up.

I see now that all these matters boil down to concepts versus realities. All people carry an idealized self-image—an idea of who we are as opposed to who we really are in practice. Our negotiating process systematically stripped away all of our idealized images and left in place two people in love who had their own baggage and their own vulnerabilities.

We started off with great ambition to negotiate all sorts of eventualities, or so we thought, and over the course of six weeks got it down to seven words! Here’s our pre-nup:

Show up.

Pray through it.

No lawyers.

Pretty wild! The cool thing is that it totally works for us. Spend some time in spacious conversation. Pre-nuptial negotations cannot be rushed. Or, they can, but at what cost? It’s most important that your agreement reflect both of you accurately.

This means that there will be some moments when one (or both) of you is uncomfortable. Human relating, as much as we wish it weren’t so, can be messy. So what? Keep going. Keep the faith that you can and will come to an equitable agreement.

If you do not or cannot agree within a reasonable amount of time, there is another option. I’ve helped couples marry, negotiate and divorce at different times. Get a mediator—a neutral one, upon whom you both agree. This person actually stands in for the marriage rather than either party.

Negotiating takes clarity and clarity can take time. Give yourself and your relationship the kind of time you both need, and you will be grateful for it even if the process is uncomfortable.

For spiritual nourishment, visit Dr. Susan Corso’s website and blog, Seeds for Sanctuary. Follow her on Twitter @PeaceCorso and Friend her on Facebook. And discover your own Inner Peace at, To Me Peace Is … What is Peace to You?

Posted by Susan Corso, DD | in Practitioner Blogs, Spiritual Alignment | No Comments »

“I wouldn’t have thought of myself as a freak”

Apr. 5th 2010

“Two of us were in the top 50, I was one of them, Jimmy Connors was the other, with two-handed backhands.  We were the only two.  And I feel had I known that this was the future, I would have had a lot more confidence in the shot, and I wouldn’t have thought of myself as a freak.”
- Cliff Drysdale, former professional tennis player

Once considered a radical shot and criticized for its apparent lack of reach and variety, the two-handed backhand is now recognized and utilized for its advantageous power and control.  The revolutionary stroke was a rarity in the 1960s and 1970s during Mr. Drysdale’s career, but today eight of the top ten male players in the world employ it.

A parallel exists between this evolution in tennis and the dietary changes that a small percentage of my patients need to make.  Being different is not easy, as Mr. Drysdale might attest.  I know that some of my patients are self-conscious and feel like social outcasts when they are unable to eat as their friends and family do because of, for example, IgG food sensitivities, an elimination diet, a candida diet, or detoxification protocol.  My patients understand, however, that every individual will experience more support when these dietary programs gain popular acceptance as knowledge about them becomes more widespread.

The two-handed backhand won respect when its users achieved results, and as more players adopted it for its advantages, the stroke became so prevalent that it is now the norm.  Of the patients who have the courage to make unusual dietary changes, the vast majority feel significantly better by the end of treatment.  I anticipate that respect for the utility of these tools will grow as the pool of data showing excellent results continues to expand.  We already see dietary culture shifting.  Many restaurants and stores are recognizing how pervasive the need for gluten-free options is and are adjusting their offerings accordingly.  I expect further transformations to happen as well.

I encourage you to read about some of these new dietary approaches to health care.  The benefits can be significant for you and your family.  You can be well on your way to becoming a healthier person, and you can take great satisfaction in having achieved your goals while the general public eventually climbs on board.  Please let me know if you have any questions, and I look forward to helping you start your journey.

Posted by Jonah Soolman, RD, LDN, CPT | in FirstLine Therapy, Practitioner Blogs | No Comments »

Spring Cleaning……the RIGHT Way!

Apr. 1st 2010

While you’re preparing to open the windows and air out a home where you’ve been trapped with dust, mold and other indoor pollutants, consider these tips to get a head start on the cleaning and adequately ventilate so that you can enjoy the new spring breeze…..

A clutter free environment is easier to clean and easier to keep clean. Cut down on dust accumulation by clearing off surface areas. Get rid of excess – go through toys, clothes, household products and toss, recycle or donate anything that you rarely use.
Remember: top to bottom when you start cleaning. Dust off light fixtures, ceiling fans, and tops of cabinets. Use an electrostatic charged dust cloth or damp cloth, so that dust clings to the cloth and isn’t distributed somewhere else.

Wash curtains and drapes and wipe down blinds. You may want to consider replacing your blinds with something that is easily washed. Blinds are the ultimate dust catchers and are challenging to clean.

Dry clean area rugs and clean carpets. Don’t forget about your upholstered furniture: they can harbor mites, mold, and dander.

Vacuum, or clean as directed by the manufacturer. Consider purchasing leather furniture when it’s time for an upgrade. It’s much more allergy friendly and easier to clean.

Move and clean underneath and behind furniture. And, don’t forget vacuuming under the refrigerator and baseboards. These areas can harbor a lot of………everything!

Try to stay away from harsh chemicals and strong fragrances while cleaning. Use all natural cleaning supplies. You may have them stored in your cabinet now! Did you know that vinegar mixed with equal parts water can work just as well as an all purpose cleaning solution and disinfectant? (but do not use on marble) Baking soda is a great abrasive cleaner and deodorizer as well.

Change filters on your air conditioners, air purifiers, dehumidifiers and vents.

Wear a mask!

An extra tip to consider after all the flooding many people experienced just recently: strongly consider ditching water logged items in your basement. Make sure your basement is properly dried out. Ventilate as often as possible. And seek professional advice to rule out mold growth.

Posted by Sophia DaRosa, RN | in Functional Medicine, Other | 1 Comment »